Lorrie's Crash Course on Aussie Legends [Chapter 1]

G'day folks, Lorrie here, welcome to my crash course on Aussie Legends. I can honestly say, wing over my feathered heart, that Australian humans are the most interesting bunch of characters you'll ever stumble across. Over the coming weeks, I'll take you through a few Aussie staples and if the terms 'postie', 'tradie' or 'pokies' mean nothing to you now, they will soon! Given the sheer breadth of the Aussie human species, I'll be calling on the expertise of many of my esteemed avian colleagues, such as Dr Kookie, Field-expert Cockie, and Prof Bin-Chicken.

By the way, if you see a word with an * next to it, it means it's probably a common Australian word that might not pop up in everyday international English. There's a glossary at the end if you're curious!

So grab yourself a cuppa* and join me on our first stop, the humble...

Lollipop Lady*:

Ah, the lollipop lady — a beacon of authority in her faded high-vis vest, wielding her 'SLOW' sign like a scepter of the asphalt kingdom. Her scowl could bend steel, but honestly, she probably won’t waste it on you. Still, unwritten Aussie law demands you give her a wave as you roll past, a gesture of respect for the unflinching monotony of her post. If you’re really lucky, you might even receive the holy grail of acknowledgments — a finger raise in response.

Apprentice Tradie*:

Ah, the apprentice — a creature of equal parts confusion and exhaustion, typically spotted clutching an energy drink in one hand and their rapidly dwindling paycheck in the other. Barely out of school, they’re the worksite whipping boy, getting roasted harder than a democracy sausage* on election day.. Dressed in oversized boots, slightly-to-short work shorts, and a high-vis shirt stained with yesterday’s lunch, they shuffle about eager-to-please and dead-tired. When they're not at work you can usually catch them at a servo* where they can be seen inhaling a sausage roll faster than a seagull on a hot chip.

The Pensioner at the Pokies*:

Ah, the pensioner at the pokies — a familiar sight, bathed in the hypnotic glow of spinning wheels, where the Queen of the Nile* herself promises fortune... if you’ll just part with a couple bucks* for a chance to please her. Armed with a pension card and a dwindling stack of twenties, she'll be here all day here, lured by the promise of jackpots that rarely deliver.

The pokies are patient predators. They hum softly in the background, tugging at her attention and waiting to consume whatever spare change she’s got left. The occasional chime or flash keeps hope alive, but it’s a hollow kind of hope — more mirage than oasis. The familiar faces and free cuppas might soften the sting, but the machines are relentless, quietly draining both her wallet and her time.

But it’s not just the machines that keep her coming back — it’s the ritual. It's the courtesy bus* escort, the "Mornin' Shirley" form Dave behind the bar, the lingering smell of last night's footy* crowd, and the subtly reserved spot in front of the Keno* screen. Yes, it's a world of small comforts, but it's hers.

Glossary of Aussie Terms

Bucks – Australian slang for dollars. 'A couple bucks' might get you a meat pie, but at the pokies, it’ll disappear in seconds.

Courtesy Bus – A free shuttle service provided by many pubs and RSL clubs to ferry patrons to and from the venue. Often filled with a mix of retirees, punters, and locals looking for a cheap ride home.

Cuppa – A cup of tea (or sometimes coffee), a staple of Australian social life.

Democracy Sausage – A sausage sizzle* (BBQ) held at polling stations on election day in Australia. A sacred tradition, arguably more important than the voting itself.

Footy – Short for football, but in Australia, it depends on where you are. In Victoria and SA, it usually refers to Australian Rules Football (AFL), whereas in NSW and QLD, it’s Rugby League (NRL). In casual conversation, it’s just "footy."

Keno – A gambling game commonly played in Australian pubs and clubs, where players pick numbers and hope to match them to the random draw. Often played by those who prefer a slower, more passive way to lose their money.

Lollipop Lady – A crossing guard, typically stationed at school zones or roadworks, wielding a large stop sign (hence "lollipop"). Not to be ignored.

Pokies – Poker machines (slot machines). Found in pubs, RSL clubs, and casinos across Australia. Known for their flashy lights, catchy jingles, and ability to quietly drain bank accounts.

Postie – You'll find out in the next chapter!

Queen of the Nile – A popular and long-running Australian pokie game with an ancient Egyptian theme, featuring Cleopatra and promises of untold riches—usually false ones.

Servo – Short for "service station" (gas station), but more than just a fuel stop—it’s the place to grab a meat pie, sausage roll, or an energy drink when you’re on the go.

Sausage Sizzle – A beloved Australian event where cheap sausages are grilled and served in white bread with onions and sauce. Often found outside Bunnings on weekends.

Tradie – Short for "tradesperson," referring to skilled workers in trades like plumbing, carpentry, or electrical work. Known for early starts, processed meats, and being the backbone of Australian infrastructure.

Full album: https://civitai.com/posts/12273173